Here are five things that help us at The McGlothlin Home for Boys:
Understand it’s a battle.
There’s a physical root to what their bodies and mouths are producing. Their bodies must be in motion, and sometimes, their bodies trump their minds and hearts. They’re not necessarily trying to be crazy, but as young men, they can’t always tell their bodies what to do and get instant results. The order of the day is understanding and grace, and a heavy dose of physical activity.
It’s important to communicate that we understand their body’s need for activity is hard to overcome, but there comes a time when we just have to do the hard things anyway. Understanding and compassion go a long way toward helping the difficult things bring a mama closer to her son instead of driving them apart.
Create opportunities for physical activity however you can.
We run. Seriously. My husband runs about 2-4 miles a few times a week, and we decided to see if our youngest could keep up with him. I sat by the phone, ready to jump in the car and come get him if it was too much, but the phone call never came. He paced my husband step for step, and it helped him concentrate and be nicer throughout the day.
Get creative and think outside the box. Find an activity that wears your boys out, and stick with it. It’s tempting to let them play on their Xbox or PlayStation non-stop during the break, but I promise it will not produce the kind of behavior you’re looking for. Balance is the name of the game.
Keep your anger in check.
If there’s anything that makes me want to lose my temper, it’s the “noise, noise, noise!” (Grinch reference!) It drives me crazy when they’re so loud, but letting my emotions control me doesn’t help the problem, it only teaches them to lose their emotions, too.
Get a grip on yourself before reacting to their mess. Show grace when you can, and remember that because Jesus loved you in spite of your shortcomings, you can extend that love to them.
Diffuse Lavender or another calming Essential Oil in the main room of your house.
Wherever they spend the most time. Lavender has known sedative properties. Amen?
Set healthy expectations for doing hard things.
The bottom line is that there will be things our boys don’t feel they can do for the rest of their lives—hard things that threaten to master them instead of the other way around. If we build a sense of “everything in life that’s worth anything requires hard work,” with a heavy dose of, “you must ask Jesus to help you overcome the hard things because you can’t do it yourself,” we’ll be that much further ahead in teaching them how to be godly, hard-working men who overcome in the name of Jesus.
Are you the mom of one (or more) of “THOSE” boys?
The ones who are 250% boy, full of energy, act before they think, are misunderstood by those around them, and basically leave you full on ragged at the end of the day?
I get it. I’m raising two of them myself.
Years ago, when my boys were very young, I felt God tell me that they needed someone to fight for them, and that He had chosen that person to be me. After spending years learning how (and really, I’m still learning), I created the Fight Like a Boymom Program, a roadmap to raising hard-to-handle boys. Inside, you’ll learn to fight FOR your sons instead of AGAINST them and change the entire tone of your parenting.
We see you mom, juggling all the things in the midst of a global pandemic. You’re trying to take care of the kids, your job, the house, the groceries, and everything else your family needs. It’s not easy. In fact, it’s downright hard.
Unprecedented times call for unprecedented parenting.
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Expressing an interest in the thing(s) a young man enjoys is very important. My son didn’t used to enjoy much. He only really enjoyed video games so I started to just watch him play. I watched and got involved so I met more of his friends. We talked a lot more. Then he got interested in something else. It was s hobby that I knew nothing about but I listened. We talked. Now I know a lot about it. Just yesterday he “tested” me. Then he said thank you for showing an interest in what I enjoy. He said that he appreciates that he can tell I listen when he talks.
This is one I will keep coming back to! Thank you for sharing!!
This was very helpful!