Senior year is hard.
Let’s just get that out of the way, shall we? Acknowledging that it will be hard, with an emotional roller coaster of highs and lows, lasts, and bests before diving in can help moms (and dads) be more prepared for what’s to come instead of getting hit with it out of left field. But it’s important to acknowledge that the senior year, while hard, is also wonderful. One of the things I’ll treasure forever is looking at my child, and simultaneously seeing the boy he was behind the man he is becoming. So often, a facial expression or laugh would superimpose his little boy face over its much more grown up version, and the idea that my husband and I are among the few people in his life who can see this made it that much more special. Remember mom, while there will be so many lasts that will grab your heart, this isn’t the end. Really, things are just starting, and if you set your mind to it now, you will enjoy the ride.
Our first senior year was hard, good, constantly changing, expensive, and wonderful, and I’d like to share some of the wisdom I gleaned from the living of it. I’m also sharing tips (with permission) from friends on Facebook who cared enough to share their hard-earned wisdom with the moms coming behind them.
20 Tips for Moms of High School Seniors
BE THERE. We made a tough choice not to watch most of our younger son’s JV baseball season so we could watch our senior’s last year on Varsity. We knew it would be a big year for him and we didn’t want to miss a second. It was so hard not to be there for our youngest, but our extended family stepped up for him in a big way. BE THERE for EVERYTHING possible. Don’t look back and regret missing something.
Pray a lot. I mean A LOT. The prayer I have prayed most often for the last several years is simply, “Show me, Lord.” What’s the next step, the answer, the right response, the way he should go? Just show me. Get a copy of our digital prayer guide called Praying God’s Word for Your Child to Launch if you need help knowing what to pray.
Step back and let them lead as much as possible. Don’t make decisions for them that they can make for themselves, and don’t take consequences away from them that they deserve.
Get them a credit card when they turn 18. Help them start building their own credit. Put something like the family Netflix on it and set it up to pay off every month. It will set them up to have the best interest rates and high approvals when loans are needed. Our son moved to NC a couple days after graduation, and within a couple weeks his debit card had been compromised. Thankfully, he had some cash to get him through until we could get a new one, but a credit card with a low balance can be so very helpful (and if it encounters fraud, it doesn’t take their hard-earned cash)!
Be prepared for “senior-itis” and don’t stress about it! They’ll get assignments finished and if not, will learn a valuable lesson from it.
From January until graduation, expect your senior to be stressed. Especially as deadlines loom. Lots of things are changing for your student, too, and they’re experiencing unknowns and fears of their own. Help them take their stress to the Lord, pray for them, and reassure them that everything they’re feeling (even the things they won’t admit) are normal. Just be a soft place to land.
Click here to get your copy of Praying God’s Word for Your Child to Launch right away!
Cry, but take your tears to God. I tried very hard not to cry around my senior. I very much wanted him to be free from any responsibility for my feelings. I wanted him to see my pride in him…I took any feelings of loss I felt to God or my husband.
Make sure they check email frequently. Kids today never check email, and tons of important information is lurking there with deadlines attached.
Choose joy. A dear friend reminded me at the beginning of our senior year that we get to choose what emotions we embrace, so why not just choose joy? I did that, and it made a tremendous difference for me. Thanks, Jamie! Get a choose joy printable here and display it where your eyes can see it often.
Start college applications early. Deadlines come and go quickly.
Make your child stay up to date on scholarships, and make him/her write their own essays. Be there to help brainstorm, and offer ideas, but make them do it.
Senior year can be expensive. Senior sports banners, pictures, special momentos, yearbook, shirts, trips, announcements, and the list goes on. If you’re on a tight budget, ask your senior which of these mean the most to him or her, and which they think they can live without. Hint: Don’t buy the announcements your school offers. Just pick one of your favorite senior pictures, upload it to a site like Walmart, or Canva, and design your own. They offer tons of templates that make it super easy, and it’s MUCH cheaper. I did not do this. I 100% will with our next graduate.
Make your senior write thank you notes as he or she receives gifts. This will save a lot of time and frustration. Tell them they can’t use the money until the card is written.
Hug them. A lot. It may seem like they need you less and less, and in some ways this is true. But they still need a home base. They need to know they’re loved and safe, and welcome. Hug them. Insist on it.
At the turn of the New Year buy 2024 signs and celebration material for use at a graduation party. This will save you money and be one less thing you have to worry about as the time ticks away toward graduation.
Ask about announcements every day. They will forget. They have a lot on their minds, and are trying to have the time of their lives. Help them remember the important things.
Take senior photos throughout the year instead of all at once if you can. Our son looked completely different in baseball season than he did in football season (major haircut!). I’m glad we got it all. If your child is an athlete, ask for these kind of special mom and player photos. They’re awesome!
Let them go. If you haven’t already, begin the practice of letting them know you trust them (if you can) and then back them up when something goes wrong.
Work hard to keep their hearts. A very wise woman, who is now with the Lord, told me (before my kids were even born) that her #1 goal for her own motherhood was to keep her children’s hearts. If she could do that, she reasoned, she’d be able to keep influencing them and enjoying deep relationship with them even after they were gone to their own homes. This is harder than it sounds, but so worth the effort.
Cheer loud and proud! Not just for your graduate, but for yourself. You’ve accomplished something too!
What tips would you add to this list? Tell us in the comments!
(Photo credit Sarah Comfort Photography. Many thanks to the Facebook friends of my friend Nicole, who shared their wisdom and advice so freely earlier this week. This post is about half me and half them).
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